


Up From The Depths- Reminder of Old Grief

by Darkflame1808



Series: Post Ep Oneshots and Ideas- Thunderbirds [2]
Category: Thunderbirds, Thunderbirds are go!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explosions, Gen, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Memories, Men Crying, Spoilers for Signals Part 1, TV-21, Unbeta'd, Up From The Depths Part 2, Up from the Depths, Whump, no beta we die like men, post episode, space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 12:43:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20489084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkflame1808/pseuds/Darkflame1808
Summary: An alternate ending to S02E07 Up From The Depths Part 2. That explosion seemed eerily familiar, and the boys don't react well to it.





	Up From The Depths- Reminder of Old Grief

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm amazed that both of these fics so far have been pretty Alan centric. I have so many ideas for Virgil (he's my fave, and he will be hurt accordingly >:)). Anyway, hope you enjoy. I will hopefully be participating in Whumptober for the first time ever this year, so keep a look out for that. But otherwise, yeah. Enjoy some senseless whump :) Also, if there are any errors, please do tell me, I don't have a beta, or anyone to proofread, and I do want to make these as good as possible.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Thunderbirds or any of the characters form the show (or from TAG). I just want to make cool stories :)

It was right there, within his reach. Holding onto Three easily in the vacuum of the void, but he couldn’t reach it, not quite, and it killed him. A little piece inside of him shriveled in shame and grief as the orders came from Scott. "Alan, do it.” 

Scott himself scowled as he spoke those wretched words. He had just ordered the destruction of his father’s first supersonic plane, of his dream. He had given that order, and so he knew he must watch it be carried out by his youngest brother. A long groan came over the comm, and Scott could imagine what his baby brother looked like; eyes scrunched shut, gloved hands lifted towards the rocket as he separated TB3 from the Mechanic’s machine. 

A small blossom of hope decided to make itself known in Alan’s gut as he watched the Mechanic’s rocket float away from Thunderbird 3. Maybe it’ll be fine, maybe they can still get Dad’s rocket back.

But then it exploded.

Light pierced into two sets of sky blue eyes, tears immediately following. The sound of the explosion would’ve carried and hit their eardrums too, if it weren’t for the vacuum they sat in. But the light, the light was something else. So bright and sudden in the dense darkness of space, so visceral and violent compared to everything else, particularly for the Tracy boys. And as they watched that explosion, another played in their minds eye. An explosion that took more than this one could ever take. An explosion that took their dad, his love and his leadership and his guidance from all of them. 

“Sorry Dad,” Alan murmured to himself, but Scott heard it too as did everyone else that happened to be listening in back on Tracy island. 

Scott looked down, eyes closing involuntarily as those haunting images played through his mind again, but from a different rocket, a different time. That same grief echoed through him, brought to the forefront once again with both explosions -both wounds - brought forward and made fresh.

The trip home happened in silence, the only words from Alan as they approached Earth, ETA’s, conditions of entry and condition of Three, the usual stuff. But no one dare spoke a word about what happened, even Ned stayed as quiet as he could. 

Once they dropped the GDF worker off they headed for home. Alan’s knuckles were white with how hard he gripped the maneuvering bars, jaw clenched and eyes glued to the windshield. Scott similarly did not try and engage the youngest in conversation, lost in his own thoughts and memories, the explosion ripping through his head on repeat, but not the one he had just witnessed. 

Upon arrival, Alan ran post-flight checks. This was usually where Scott exited Three and returned to the living room for debrief, but he couldn’t move himself from his seat. Finally, Alan sighed and slumped back into his own seat, head bowed as he attempted to take it all in. 

After what seemed like forever, Alan hit the button to open Three, and he pushed Scott to get to his feet. As they exited Three they were met with Virgil, his eyes a bit red and his shirt a bit rumpled,but otherwise fine. He nodded at Alan and pulled him into his side, a quick squeeze of comfort and he pulled Scott in to do the same. A moment or two passed, and then Virgil urged the two of them towards the elevator. Like the ride home, the ride up in the elevator was silent, except for Alan’s badly hidden sniffles as he tried to restrain the tears. Scott stared blankly at the door, moving just enough to blink. 

Once the doors of the elevator opened, Virgil gently moved his eldest and youngest siblings forward, an arm around each of their shoulders. He directed Scott to a couch where the commander collapsed, head bowed and hands running through his hair. He didn’t even meet anyone’s eyes that were standing in the room, which was one of the more alarming things. Scott never walked into a room without exuding an air of confidence and meeting every challenge head on, including making eye contact with anyone facing him. 

Alan clung to the second eldest, so Virgil had to carefully sit on another couch to keep from squashing the youngest of the Tracy clan. The blond leaned into Virgil, sides pressed against each other, and his head nuzzling up into the body beside him. The artist just tightened his hold on his uncharacteristically quiet brother, his hand rubbing up and down Alan’s arm. Both Scott and Alan were still in their uniforms, baldrics and all. 

John walked around the corner to join everyone else in the living room, carefully sitting beside Scott and placing a hand on his shoulder. Alan made a whimper like sound, and in the next moment he was sobbing. Virgil pulled him closer, allowing the young astronaut to bury his head into his brother’s shoulder. Gordon came up behind him and gently stroked his back, attempting to soothe the boy.

“We lost it,” Scott said finally, his voice rough and gravelly. “We lost… him.”

“It was only a plane, Scott,” John attempted to reason.

“But it was  _ him _ ,” he tried, tried to show, to tell his brothers what he meant. 

“It wasn’t him, Scott. We still have him, we carry him everywhere,” Grandma said as she sat on Scott’s other side. “We have him in our hearts and in your actions on every mission.”

“B-but the pl-plane. It w-was-was just like h-h-his-” Alan was overcome with sobs again, unable to finish his thought, but everyone knew what he meant. Everyone had seen the explosion; both explosions, and each one still echoed in their heads. 

Virge hugged Alan to him tighter, burying his own face in the blond hair and he closed his eyes against the tears that landed in those blond locks. Gordon also leaned in closer and put his head up against Alan’s, whispering something to him that the youngest nodded along to. 

It was times like this that each of the brothers were relieved to have their siblings. When the grief and memories were too thick for one, so the rest would share it, help them, take some of the hurt away. Today wasn’t a great loss, in hindsight the plane was only that; a plane. But it was what it symbolized, and it was the sense of loss that it reminded each of the brothers of their father, that brought forth those memories. It brought forth that same pain of losing their dad, and in the same way. A horrible, violent way that in no way fitted their father for his final moments. He didn’t deserve that, which made the pain that much sharper, that much more acute. 

But they had each other. They had support and comfort from four other brothers, and from their grandma, and their sister, and their Brains. There were holes left in each of their hearts, gaps that could never be filled, losses that could never be forgotten, but those gaps and holes and cracks were softened by the rest of the family. And that was all they could ask for. For their family.


End file.
